boy oh boy

bedtime high jinx ... superhero capes and fart jokes

Today Joe managed to jam his fist into a loop in his car seat strap so small his arm turned purple and I almost had to cut it off with scissors. Later while I was cleaning the kitchen, I noticed a suspicious sound coming from the playroom... silence. I rounded the corner just in time to witness Joe jump from the top of the playhouse roof directly onto his one-year-old brother who shrieked, slapped his big brother in the face twice, and laughed. Then one of them farted causing them to BOTH laugh hysterically. 

That's when I thought... boy oh boy am I raising some boys.

The evidence is pretty conclusive...

• Both Joe's knees are skinned and Will has a giant purple bruise on his cheek. Between my boys, we average at least two school accident reports a month.

• Today someone said the following to me: Mama, this fishing pole is stuck on my penis.

• This week, I've said the following: Don't hit your brother on the head with that light saber. Don't hit your brother on the leg with that light saber. Don't hit your brother on the shoulder with your elbow. How about you just don't touch your brother at all?  This is a single quote.

• Almost every day for the past year or so, I've said the following: Point your penis down at the toilet. Point your penis down. Penis down. Down.

• Two words... crop dusting. There is a steady and never-ending stream of stink following each of my boys. And it's different than the standard wet puppy smell common to all little boys (which incidentally is also always present). It's an honest-to-goodness man stink. 

• My boys have one volume. Loud. Maybe two. Loud and very loud. Right now it's the theme from Peter and the Wolf. Usually while running in a loop from the kitchen to the living room at full speed. Until one of them smacks into something and falls down. 

So there you go. A little snapshot of my life right now. Please send aspirin and band aids.

olive juice, okay?

emily